As soon as you saw this picture, did you start thinking what was good or bad about it?

I often judge my horse when I ride.  I find myself asking, is this a good walk?  Is his neck and back rounded enough? Is this the right canter?

I judge myself, too.  Am I sitting correctly?  Am I holding the reins right?  Am I rounding my shoulders too much?

Is this you, too?

When I keep asking myself, is this good or bad, my mind is totally occupied with one or the other (more often the bad!).

My whole self is focused on either one or the other, mostly on my wanting the good – like the best trot or the perfect canter.  I become so involved with choosing good or bad that the choosing becomes more important than my relationship with my horse.

I don’t like to ride my horse like this.  I don’t want the scale to be weighted so heavily with judgment.

I don’t think my horse likes this, either.  I don’t even think he understands good or bad.  His back may hurt if I bounce too much sitting the trot, but I don’t think he categorizes this as bad.  He may enjoy the sensation of a soft connection through the reins, but I don’t think he classifies it as good.

When I place loving relationship on the other side of the scale, everything can balance together.  My horse and I can be together in loving presence, flowing together more often in harmony, understanding each other even when things don’t go as I’d like.

How to balance the scale and flow together with your horse:

  • Notice when you are judging yourself or your horse.  Just notice.  Make sure you don’t think it’s bad to be judging.
  • Keep noticing.  Say out loud, “I noticed……(whatever you noticed you were judging).
  • After you notice judgment, bring your attention to the love you have for your horse.
  • Let yourself go back and forth between judgement and a presence of love.


  1. It is so hard to change those judgment tapes I play in my head. That I have been taught for so many years. What a wonderful way to start. Thanks

    • Hi, Barbie! Yes, the judgment tapes are hard to change! First trick is just noticing that they’re in play, so you are well on your way. The more you notice, the more your mind opens to new possibilities.

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